Road to 26.2
Monday, January 13th- 4 weeks, 5 days until I get a big ass medal/belt buckle
Yesterday, I wanted to quit. I wanted to quit at mile 1, 2, 3, 4. By mile 5, I decided to quit. I knew my friends were set to arrive at the trailhead any minute, and I was just going to wait it out in their car while they finished their miles. I was cold, underdressed, and was still not warmed up. My knee hurt. I didn’t sleep well. My stomach was being a little bitch. Everything sucked.
I called my husband, and he told to push myself but not too hard so that I get hurt. I called my friends to see where they were, and it turned out, they were an hour away. I decided to suck it up, go slow, and do the ten-mile loop. At the end of 15 miles, I would decide if I could keep going to do the other miles to get to the scheduled 18 miles.
Long story short, it was miserable. My whole body hurt, my right knee increasingly so. I was very cold, it was just terrible. Nothing distracted me, no music could keep me going. I turned to my friends, I called several people and they talked me through the better part of 10 awful miles. When I finally hit 15 miles, I knew I could not keep going. Yet, I was still a mile away from the trailhead, my friends, and their car due to a miscalculation on my part. I fought off tears through the last mile and just keep going. I finally saw my friend about a half mile from the finish point, and she was like a shining, beautiful angel! I was so happy to see her!
We got back to the car and I just collapsed. The bathrooms on the trail were disgusting, so I was under-fueled and under-hydrated. I shoved some food and water into my system, I changed into warmer clothes, and was feeling a lot better. After a great lunch of burger and fries, and a relaxing afternoon with all of us at our home, I was feeling even better, albeit still sore and cold.
None of that shit matters!! What matters is that I dragged my painful, miserable ass through 16 miles. I did it. I did a whole mess of miles even when I knew that I couldn’t even do one mile happily. It’s done. I never have to run those miles again. The next miles are different miles. It won’t be this bad again, because now I know that I can struggle through 16 miles. I don’t know how to quit anymore, I just know how to keep going.
So what will I be doing differently?
-Adding some magnesium, omega-3s, complex carbs to buoy up my low-hormone phase in my cycle, as well as keeping track of my protein to ensure I have enough
-More water, holy Jesus how can I drink more but I will!
-Live that epsom salt bath life
-Daily time for journaling and visualizing potential positive and negative running scenarios to prepare myself for potential events during my races
I learned so much during and after that run! I learned about mental toughness, determination, and some additional lessons about fuel, nutrition, hormones, clothing, and recovery. I am incredibly grateful for my support system of family and friends, they kept me up when I wanted to go down.
Bad runs, bad days, these will happen. It is inevitable. Acknowledge and move through it. THROUGH. Don’t hide, don’t quit, keep moving at any pace. Forward is a pace, keep going!
That bad run will end, that bad day will be put to bed, because we kept going and didn’t let it win.
Keep going, babe. I will too.